Life and stress

I’ve been stressed for a while. Not just your regular kind of stressed. Completely and utterly overwhelmed and not coping with life kind of stressed. Life had just been becoming incredibly discouraging. Everything just built up and I couldn’t deal with it anymore.

So a few weeks ago I resigned from my job. It was just putting too much pressure on me and I felt like I never saw my husband. We talked it over multiple times. And one day after I came home in tears yet again, he told me it wasn’t worth it. Money at the expense of happiness is too expensive. So I quit.

Just over a week ago I walked out of the door at work for the last time. And I guess I thought that the relief would be instant, that I would feel 100% perfect straight away. That this stress would lift immediately.

It didn’t. Granted, there was some relief when I walked out that door. But it wasn’t the quick fix I expected it to be. So far I have still felt busy and overwhelmed. The house is still chaotic. The dishes are still piling up. And then I got sick as well.

So I still haven’t had time to do all the things on my list. I still haven’t made it to the gym or cooked really good meals every night. It hasn’t been as dreamy as I thought it would be.

And yet, in some ways it has. I got to spend Sunday with my husband instead of working for the first time in a long time. The house may not be spotless yet, but it is getting there. My to do list may not be finished yet but I have put a bit of a dent in it. And for the first time in forever, I am able to stay home and rest when I am sick, instead of having to struggle on.

So I’ve decided that getting discouraged isn’t worth it.

And hey, it has to get better sometime!